Secrets of a Successful 2nd Marriage
Marriage is not always happily ever after. First or even second marriages do not
always last. If you are one of those looking for love a second or third time around,
there are some secrets to making that next marriage a successful one.
1. The first and maybe most important step is to take a look at your past failed
relationships. What can you learn from them? Consider making a list of the
good and bad from the past. What did you learn about the type of partner
you picked? When you marry for the first time, frequently it is for love. You
may not have given much thought to what kind of person you would be
happy with over the long haul. Chemistry might have been the deciding
factor in your choice. This time around, you have time to analyze what was
good and not so good about your last partner and the relationship. This can
be a great learning experience to take forward into your next relationship.
2. Now it is time to take a good long look at you. I know it is always easier to
blame the break up on the other person. It is important, though, to take
inventory of you. What role did you play in the break up? This is a chance to
evaluate your strengths and weaknesses and find areas in which you can
grow and improve. Remember, you will carry all of your flaws into the next
relationship if you do not address them. You can take a new and improved
you into the next relationship, making it an even better one.
3. It is important to leave the past in the past. Before you move on to the next
relationship, be sure you have dealt with the feelings and the loss of any
prior relationships. Chances are you and your new partner will both have
prior relationships, so make sure both of you have dealt with the past and
are ready to move forward. You want to enter into the next relationship a
whole person, open and ready for love.
4. Make sure your core values match. You are older and wiser this time
around and are capable of analyzing a potential partner through those
wiser eyes. You will not settle for someone who is not right for you. You are
clear about what you really want and need. You are not looking for
someone who has potential. You are looking for someone you can love just
as they are. You are not looking for perfection but someone to build a life
with. Your expectations are more realistic the second or even third time
around.
5. Finally, remember that you are in charge of your own happiness. This time
around you are not looking for someone else to complete you or fix your
life in any way. You are looking for a partner to share you happiness with
but are clear that you create that happiness yourself. When one
relationship ends, it is a good time to make changes in any areas of your life
you are not happy with. This should be done before the next relationship
comes along.
Both you and your new partner will constantly be changing and growing. If
you start with the same core values, keep your expectations realistic,
respect each other and keep the lines of communication open, your
chances for happiness the next time around are very good!
Lori Davis
eWomenNetwork Member
Lori is a Certified Relationship Specialist –Author- Radio Host Lori has a unique and passionate approach to love and relationships and believes that everyone deserves and can have the relationship of their dreams. Her mission is to provide you with the skills you need to have the unstoppable relationship you deserve. She has over 28 years’ experience empowering individuals and couples to live richer, happier lives. She has an in-person private practice in Charlotte, NC and also provides relationship coaching by phone to people throughout the United States. Her practice spans the spectrum from dating and singles to working through divorce to renewing long-term marriages. In addition to workshops, classes, couples’ retreats and a local singles group, Lori’s radio show "Real Talk" on Ivyberadio has become a popular medium to share relationship information. Born and raised in New Orleans, she has a master’s degree in clinical psychology from the University of West Florida in Pensacola. For more than 20 years, she was a mental health counselor practicing individual, marriage and family therapy in Florida. Now living in Charlotte, Lori is the mother of three daughters and is proud to homeschool her two youngest.
Visit her website - http://www.lorianndavis.com
