She think‘s she’s all that… and it’s ok. 

Debunking “conceit” and owning your worth.

By  CEO- Antiqua Lisha 

How would you like to wake up in the morning and simply know you are the bomb?  Your legs are the bomb.  Your hair is the bomb.  Your personality rocks. Yup, you are the bomb.

Imagine you jump out of bed ready to take on another day with excitement, full of energy! Would you like that? Yet, most of us wake up thinking, “help me just get through this day.”

After working with many top notch women all seeking to have more energy and live into their dreams, there is a theme. It’s a dream killer. A deep fear of not wanting to come across as better than or smarter than or prettier than… Who wants to be looked at as conceited?

Photo from Pinterest

As a teacher and coach, creating my own programs and partnering with amazing people doing the same, the conversation around being perceived as conceited has come up over and over again.  Yet the most magnetic and successful people believe in their abilities and talents and feel unapologetically comfortable in their skin.

The Webster definition of conceited as an adjective is “having an excessively favorable opinion of one’s abilities, appearance etc…”  The exact attitude a confident woman who is going to get out into the world and shine has to possess.  The definition goes on to add that being conceited means: “A) having an opinion. B) Fanciful; whimsical.” Again, both things a woman desires to be successful, creative, and taken seriously. The last piece of this humorous definition is to be “intelligent and clever.” When a client and I started to dive into these definitions we were stunned. So what is the big deal and why do we cringe at the thought of acting or being labeled conceited?

It is all about the noun when we ARE something it defines us and after years of coaching and being alive, I know, far too well no one likes to be defined.  A label we have to overcome, to justify, and either live up to or deny in ourselves to fit in and please others. And let’s admit it: most of us women are born people pleasers.

What is the difference between a person who is conceited and a person who wakes up grateful to be themselves and isn’t afraid to celebrate their accomplishments?  It is about overcoming the perception that having a favorable opinion of your abilities and being beautiful and intelligent means you believe you are better than anyone else.

For many people the need to prove ourselves is a cover up for not truly feeling free and accepted as we are.  Maybe a parent talked down to you or a creative idea failed and you allowed shame and self-doubt to creep in. So, how do you overcome and make peace with yourself, your talents and abilities, and fully express yourself with confidence without looking bad?

To really step into the freedom to be ourselves and love it is to kick self-deprecating conceit to the curb by becoming aware of your personality traits, the traits you have judged, and the ones that have been judged by others that you feel ashamed of.  We all have them. It’s powerful to become aware of the things you think you “should” change because of someone else’s opinion. When we cover up our insecurities, usually due to a fear of rejection or being judged unlovable, it is common to fake confidence or hide out.  This comes across as a “better than” attitude that makes everyone feel uncomfortable.

Is there such a thing as a healthy variety of conceit? Yes. The most successful people all have one very beautiful quality that makes their “conceit” a positive characteristic. They believe that others are just as capable, creative, smart, and beautiful as them and celebrate it.  This small shift in perception changes everything. It takes one to know one and becomes a great thing.

To embrace your own awesome sauce, become aware of your own talents, gifts, and abilities.  This ability to form your own opinion about yourself eliminates the ability of others to define you. It gives you full responsibility of yourself and allows you to give others this same gift creating a welcoming air about you that everyone is sees.

Here are some ways that I have learned to tap into these great things within myself and my clients.

1) Surround yourself with people who are comfortable with you being awesomely you.

2) Start a gratitude list (I write mine out like a thank you letter to the Divine) and add at least 2 things about yourself, your personality, your body, your talents and what you are simply great at to this list daily.

3) Let go of being awesome at everything and allow yourself to really celebrate what makes you great and let the rest go.

3) Start recognizing when insecurity comes up and instead of bashing it, get curious.  This seemingly negative facet within you is full of treasures.

4) Hire a coach or join a community to support you in cultivating all this goodness within you. And start celebrating their gifts as well.  You can join my community HERE.

To learn more about how you can shine and tap into your success while recognizing and getting extremely comfortable around people that are full of gratitude for their awareness, opinions, fanciful ideas, creativity: choose to be divinely you.  The more you see the good in you, the more you will recognize it in others.

Antiqua Lisha is a visibility coach and founder/CEO of Your Own University a business where women help women live powerfully.

As the CEO, she works with the superstar coaches and thought leaders who have shows and lead workshops at Your Own University to create, market and launch an empowering vision into the world.  She works with entrepreneurs, visionaries and rebels who are ready to see themselves and share their message to be seen by a global audience. As a E- RYT 500 yoga teacher, sports nutritionist, trauma transformer and professional jazz artist and cosmetologist; Antiqua discovered how to blend her love of healthy living, performance and beauty with  her intuitive ability to help women live powerfully.  In 2011, Antiqua, was awarded one of America’s Premier Experts in Self-Care for her work with women overcoming childhood abuse.  She now hosts a weekly radio SHIN.  And is the  bestselling author of her book From Bondage to Happiness.  She is a   regular contributor to many magazines, speaker and coach. Her unique programs the Rising Star Program and Divine in 9  is her step by step systems to take you from letting your past rule you, to letting it serve you and that you can take all the way to the bank.